Saturday, February 27, 2010

Reagan tried to make me go to rehab

Posted by T.J. McCormack

I remember the night I quit drinking. To paraphrase our president's pastor of 20 years, Jeremiah Wright, the chickens had come home to roost. He could have been doing play-by-play that night. My time was up! The partying, the hypocrisy, the hiding, the craziness-- it was going to be gone or I was going to lose my wife! But when you are in the throes of alcoholism, which naturally affects the way you think, it is not an easy step to give it up and get help. What does help is knowing you're about to lose everything.

My drinking had finally become too much for the people who care about me-- especially for Andrea, the love of my life. My wife was determined to fix her own life, and it was up to me to save mine. In order to do that she played dirty pool. That's how I thought of it in my gin-soaked brain at the time. The bitch! This is blackmail! I am fine. Just as I started playing the "I'll-stop-drinking-gin card," (which I considered a magnanimous concession), Andy struck the bullseye that made it impossible for me to stand myself any longer. She looked right into my eyes-- right into my soul. She went right to the hear of all that I had stood for, believed in, yelled at others about-- my entire platform as a Conservative American who accepts personal responsibility, doesn't need bigger government bailing him out at the expense others.

She said "You always talk about being a Conservative, about personal responsibility... What do you think Ronald Reagan would say about your behavior?"

Two days later I was in rehab.

At some point you have to walk the walk. Rehab was a really nice place for a run-of-the-mill gin drunk, sharing a house with three full-fledged crackheads. The crackhead part I could take, but they were all liberal! Three against one-- it could almost drive a man to drink! One of them was a former official with the World Bank, and so the point is I had to learn a little toleration and humility. And a lot more because they force you to in rehab whether you like it or not.

I learned that my outlook and behavior towards politics (and many other things) was based on this personality who will always be a recovering alcoholic and will always act in a certain way. We are easy to spot. It's called obsession. (However, I must say, that many of these people, whom I've met while working through this spiritual, physical and mental disease, are the greatest souls on the planet.)

So... back to me (we are like that). I behaved toward politics alcoholically as well. I was that obsessed republican forwarding emails about "Clinton the Rapist!" I still do that, except I'm no longer considered an obsessive. Now I'm a Fox News contributor. (Please don't tell them about that e-mail.)

Five years later, I'm sober, still married, a new father and thanks to conservatism, boring as hell. No more half-truths, blaming others for my problems, or judging others. No more holier than thou raging. Don't get me wrong, I still want to do all those things, it's just...I'm not ALLOWED! And there is so much I want to rant and rave and write about but it might come off as a tiny bit intolerant and obsessive so I try to stay calm.

HOWEVER: Imagine my envy as I watch the leaders of the Democrat party (the true party of intolerance if you ask me) get off scot-free after raging about retards, while wanting to castrate the "n-word!" Hypocrites! I watch our president stand before the world in his first State of the Union Address and blame President Bush again-- after Obama has been in office a year, and now we are owned by China. It's hard for me to stay calm knowing the Treasury Secretary is a tax cheat, but I am bound by my convictions to make sure I send him every receipt for every deduction I claim. If I tell a "Chinky" joke, I have to assign a character defect to the comment and send an open apology to Beijing. Meanwhile Joe Biden gets to tell an 80s-era 7-11/dot-head joke on camera and chuckles his plugs all the way to the vice presidency. There are many more examples but I don't want to start drinking again right this minute.

One could make an argument that Barack Obama was elected because millions of people judged him on his charisma-- the all-mighty one -- NOT the content of his character. How wonderfully superficial! What a great cop-out! I had to vote for John McCain! I couldn't get in on all the feel-good fun!

If I could be a liberal for a weekend, what would I do? I don't think I want to tell you, but I guarantee I would deny all of it, and then take a very short, environmentally-friendly lukewarm shower.

1 comment:

  1. A very well-written, revealing and honest article. Thank you for that, TJ.


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